• Spinals suck
• Fevers from infection are unpleasant
• Being wheeled across the hospital and into the OR is surreal and redolent of horror films
• Being prepared for surgery is terrifying
• Being cognizant during surgery (general is too dangerous for pregnancy) and hearing your surgeon say “she’s not going to like this” makes you feel panic-y *
• Nurses are REALLY cool
• Catheters are convenient and make you lazy
• Hospitals have drawers full of “fancy pants”
• Hospitals have room service and the food is pretty good. Really (at least it is at CPMC maternity hospital in SF).
• Morphine isn’t that great
• Fentanyl IS that great
• A self-administered morphine button next to your hand is ingenious, but begs for abuse
• A fentanyl / sedative cocktail injected into a vein sends you floating along in a blissful fugue and helps you understand why so many abuse drugs
• Your husband can spend every night with you in your room
• Going home is wonderful!

  

  * I asked the surgeon when she was done “what am i not going to like?” and it was that she had to use 15 feet of packing gauze inside the wound. Disgusting. That had to be removed the next day.

Well the pain got progressively worse and I knew it was hospitalization time. I returned to the doctor on Monday, they did a scan, and finally discovered the extent of the issue – it wasn’t a simple surface problem; the cavity was deep and huge (I don’t think I did an adequate job conveying my pain last week), so I was immediately admitted into the hospital and scheduled for surgery that evening. The surgeon said it was one of the worse she’d seen. The reason why this happened will remain unknown, but she thinks it was just bad luck. I was hospitalized until today, Thanksgiving, and am slowly recovering, but feeling much better! My grandmother always said “your health is the most important” and I gave no thought to such a simplistic-goes-without-saying statement until I took the ease of walking from the bedroom to the kitchen for granted.

I was on bed rest for a week in August with fibroid pain because of pregnancy. In another stroke of bad luck, I’ve developed an abscessed gland and have been in excruciating pain for 6 days. It’s not life-threatening yet, but has become one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. Surely, labor cannot be this bad (well it doesn’t go on as long and there are epidurals and all). I can’t sit or walk, but I keep looking for that light at the end of this. Doctors have tried to remove it twice this week, but can’t yet (it’s too deep still; too much blood); yet each time they make incisions into me, the pain increases. So for now I’m just doing pain management (living on tylenol and ice packs and trying to keep my appetite up). I may have to go back to the hospital for a 3rd try on Thanksgiving again.

The big dilemma: to cave in before then and take vicodin or not (my doctor readily gave me a prescription, but advises I try to forgo for reasons not to do with hurting the babies). Narcotics are really the last thing I want to take while pregnant, but I’m afraid I might be losing the battle with pain. Owen has been a great nurse. Oh thank you, god, life, universe… for him.

Also slightly disconcerting is that I’ve started having occasional minor contractions. The doctor isn’t concerned unless they become regular, but I’ve got to wonder if it isn’t the stress from pain. Anyway, sorry for the downer post.

Mario captured me walking to work.

It was discouraging when the female security guard at my building said to me this morning “you’re almost there!”

Eek! No.. I’m not.

I am suddenly very big. It almost feels as if it happened overnight. My official due date is February 28, 2008, but the doctor says I probably wouldn’t go past February 6, 2008 because the uterus can only stretch so much. So I have my sights on early February as the goal, which is less than 3 months away! Having twins puts me at very high risk for pre-term labor. Starting October 28, I was put on a strict regiment of only light walking, no travel, and no sex. I am also supposed to be stress-free and spend my time relaxing. Oh yeah, and I am not supposed to worry about getting too big, which could increase the risk. Of course, being an American woman, my legal maternity benefits dictate that I must work as long as possible, so it’s really impossible to avoid all stress and work (If I was French, for example, I could have stopped working weeks ago because of the twins. But then I could also opt to stay at home for 3 years after they’re born and still have a job, and I’d also get free health care and subsidized day care. Ok, don’t get me started on American “family values”… . However, because working makes me have to walk over 2 miles a day, it is keeping me healthy.

I attended a class this morning on choosing childcare. It was very discouraging, but not surprising. A nanny will cost about $20 per hour and a childcare center will be about $1200-$1500 per baby. You do the math. Returning to work will definitely be costly, but somehow still cost-effective for us. I only hope that I will be able to relinquish my babies when the time comes. I think I will. I never envisioned myself as a stay-at-home mom, having to ask Owen for money when I want to buy something.

We attended a labor class (my doctor wanted us to do it early). It looks scary, but somehow exciting. There is a very high chance that I will have a c-section, but I want to at least go into labor. They showed us a film of a woman in transitional labor that caused a portion of the women in the class to cry. Fear of pain was a big concern.

… one of these presidents is not like the others…

We are so relieved that Obama won the election. After 8 really bad years, we have a renewed faith in our country, and can probably regain our reputation on the world stage.

Just in case you don’t know, these 3D ultrasound look odd and bumpy because they’re still sonic waves; not entirely accurate pictures.